This turned into a two-parter. Fite me.
As we are starting to get into Retail Peak season1, we’re going to have a lot of folks headed into our warehouses to observe and support our products. So, thought I’d write a little bit about how to do it and not get destroyed by the experience. This is the first part of a practical two-part series on doin’ warehouse stuff as an over-the-hill desk jockey and live to tell about it. Hydrate and buckle up.
There’s nothing quite like 15,000 steps on poured concrete floors over 12-14 hours to test your physical fitness. Then, there’s doing it day after day after day. Then, there’s doing it while you’re over 40.
Let’s start by talking about industrial athleticism. Industrial athleticism, and the industrial athletes who perform it, is about the physical and mental characteristics required to perform physically demanding jobs. I first heard it in a general contractor’s training module while preparing to go on a construction site, but it’s a term that’s been around for decades2. The concept combines sports medicine with ergonomics, cognitive science, risk management, and work hardening to both make the job itself safer and condition workers for the job at hand. Industrial athleticism recognizes the demands of physical jobs without shrugging off those very real challenges with “blue collar tough” machismo3.
At Amazon warehouses, we do open hiring. That is, anyone who can pass the background checks and drug tests can get hired as an entry-level warehouse worker4. My colleagues come from all walks of life: from other warehouses/logistics companies, straight out of the armed services, coming from office layoffs, burned out teachers, ex-hospitality and kitchen staff, or out of jails and prisons. As long as you’re ready and willing to work, we’ll get you equipped with the right PPE and figure out how to get you conditioned over time.
Which doesn’t help a corporate desk jockey swooping in to get into path for a week. We used to do a week-long training course called C2FC (Customer Connection: Fulfillment Center), which put desk jockeys into a warehouse for three days of working alongside warehouse workers. Your morning would be lecture, explaining how a portion of the warehouse operated, and then your afternoon was spent actually doing the jobs. Day 1 usually saw desk jockeys talking about how they like the workout and how it was “kind of fun”; by the end of Day 3 they were absolutely wrecked. Non-psychopaths developed a new appreciation for what their warehouse colleagues experienced on a daily basis.
Their problem was that they were prepared for Ops Safari5, rather than performing an act of industrial athleticism. They may as well have tried to hike Mt. Monadnock in flip-flops and jorts.
Gear
I’ll talk you through what I wear and what I pack to go into a day in a warehouse. Your mileage may vary, but here’s what’s been working for me for over a decade spent across 50+ warehouses on two continents. Before we go piece by piece, as industrial athletes, we follow the athlete’s rule: wicking all the things.
Wet skin abrades and irritates easily. It is the enemy. No matter what else you take from this section, control for moisture.
Feeties
In building our foundation, we start from the bottom and build upward.
Socks
Thicker is not better. More often what you’ll find is that cushioned socks are trying to compensate for fit problems in your shoes, and do so poorly. The purpose of a sock is twofold: socks provide an abrasion-free interface to the structure of the shoes around them, and they protect your shoes from getting manky as an easily washable interface layer.
Under Armour makes great long-lasting cotton-blend socks; if you prefer a crew sock, these last forever. For daily wear I’m an ankle sock person and prefer Saucony’s runners. But, put me in a warehouse and I go to my secret weapon: the Injinji toe sock.
Somehow, none of the Alibaba manufacturers have replicated the secret sauce. Just the right stretchiness, doesn’t bag up on my busted pinky toes, and wears for literal years. Expensive as shit on Amazon, but go put a standing automated search on eBay for ‘em. Glorious.
Shoes
We require safety toe here. Firstly, go with composite toes unless specifically required otherwise. The weight really does make a difference even though you’ll have to inspect them differently than steel toes for damage.
Now, the runners and the hikers really have a lot to give us here. Shoes can be agony or they can be a delight, and it’s all about making sure that you’ve got the right shoe shape, or last, for your foot. Those Timbs look cool but aren’t worth shit if you’re dying at work in them every day. One of the gifts of no longer being in anyone’s target demographic is that you don’t give a shit what others think about what you wear any more, and you need to lean into that. Your fit is everything and you don’t have to be stuck in heavy leather boots that you need to break in because that’s not our use case in the warehouses. If you get a set of safety toe shoes and they don’t fit right, send them back and try a different brand. I learned this the hard way when I acquired a pair of Reebok safety shoes years ago based on the recommendation of a colleague. They were not built for my foot shape, and I ended up with a hot spot on my right heel that just never healed. I had hydrocolloid patches, Tegaderm, moleskin, a-tape… it would never settle down. Finally I gave up on the Reeboks and found a pair of Keens. The hot spot healed up promptly. I could not yeet the Reeboks hard enough into the dumpster.
One of the side benefits of Amazon requiring safety toe for every one of our hundreds of thousands of warehouse colleagues is that it noticeably moved the needle on the safety toe market. What used to be focused on construction and offered primarily heavy-sided boots with big lugged soles now offers lots of choices in tread and material for all sorts of foot shapes. For the uppers, get something that looks like a running shoe with lots of mesh and breathable cloth. For the tread, think like a racecar. You’re not climbing mountains so you don’t need knobblies; you’re on a smooth concrete racetrack, so get non-slip, smooth treaded soles. Here’s something similar to what I wear, a KEEN safety toe sneaker.
You don’t need fancy insoles if you get your sock and shoe combination right, but if you’ve got a weird gait or joint issue further up but you’re not bad enough to need custom orthotics, you might want to try what I run in my bike shoes6. You’re gonna feel weird putting them on a baking sheet but give it a shot.
Lower Body
Yay, we survived the feet people!
Under Undies: TMI
When you turn 40, a container of Gold Bond magically appears in your bathroom cabinet. You don’t know where it came from or why it is there; it simply shows up, unassuming.
There will be a time, soon, when you understand why all the old ladies were adamant about powdering themselves. And it is because, regardless of your physique or cleanliness or level of activity or personal relative humidity7, you will suddenly develop swamp ass.
Now, current Gold Bond is a lie, as it’s made with corn starch. Go find yourself a proper talcum powder8. I like Yardley English Lavender Talc because it leans into Nice Church Lady without the Old Person Smell vibes, but honestly any powder that doesn’t start with corn starch will help.
Undies
Yes, let’s go to something slightly less uncomfortable to discuss: pants!
Wicking is a given, but you also don’t want something that’ll ride up. If you like masculine-presenting underwear, Nike’s boxer briefs are durable and have a really nice texture that doesn’t feel like you’re wearing spandex bike shorts. For more feminine-presenting underwear I’ve been fond of Adidas’s boyshorts; they don’t ride up and they don’t cut me in half (you know exactly what I mean). There’s a galaxy of options in this domain, just sharing a couple of examples I’ve found success with.
Outer Lower Body
Of all of the things people wear in the warehouses, lower body garb has the most variety. Folks in modest dress, basketball shorts, yoga pants, jeans, ranger panties, booty shorts… we’ve got it all.
I am severely not a shorts person no matter how hot it gets; take some classic “being a woman in this hellscape” body dysmorphia and mix it with that of a cyclist who always felt that bike shorts muffined her thighs and there you go. But, I’ve found that magic mix of wicking fabric, durability, and versatility in Kuhl’s Splash pants. Unlike most women’s pants, they even come in longer inseams and with many useful pockets. Rejoice.
While I share the link for reference, I don’t think I’ve ever paid retail for these. Go get them secondhand for like $25 a pop. Who cares, you’re going to try to wreck them in a warehouse.
Belt
Optional, really only if you’re a belt person either out of comfort or because you put too much stuff in your pants pockets. I roll with an Arcade belt because it’s got a little stretch, has plastic hardware, and survives the washing machine, but I have no particularly strong brand loyalty here.
Upper Body
Covering your goods: not just for video conferencing any more. Note that I’ll talk about safety vests further down.
Under The Underthings: Moar TMI
We talked about powder up above which is also applicable for any rolls or underboob, but for the love of everyone around you please think through your underarm strategy. No one wants to experience your natural musk9, and perfuming on top of it will do no one favors. There is only so much that little tin of Vicks Vap-o-rub can do for any of us.
Get thee a high quality low-chafe (gel formulations will destroy you here) deodorant that promises violent chemical death in either girl-coded or boy-coded varieties.
Undergarments
Don’t have boobs? This one’s still for you.
The jiggle is your enemy. it’s just consistent low-grade discomfort that wears on you and makes you self-conscious. Put that under some light compression! Please don’t wear Spanx because you’ll keel over, but something simple like these commodity-tier long-sleevers have been my long-time friends.
But if you’ve got boobs, you gotta wear a bra and that bra’s gotta do work (even for the itty bitty committee). My favorite has been discontinued so I can’t link it here, but you want wicking, no padding (all it does is absorb and insulate), separation, and a band that will not roll up. Spend the damn money.
Tops
Here’s a place where you can get away with a good ol’ cotton t-shirt on top of your wicking layer on most days. But, if you’re in an area where the AC ain’t and you can see the popsicles and wet towels getting broken out, go hit eBay and get thee some wicking shirts. I like how Nike Dri-fit t-shirts fit on me and how the fabric feels on my skin, but I have no strong preference here as long as it’s pulling the sweat away. Don’t pay retail price here, wait for a sale.
You can do polo shirts here too, but I suggest against button-downs unless they have a bit of stretch to them because you’re going to be moving your body.
I typically won’t wear a hoodie because I wear a base layer, but anything breathable and on sale will do. Beware no-name swag hoodies. Cut the drawstrings out so they don’t get caught in rotary equipment; you are in an industrial environment, after all.
Hands
My mom worked for an orthopaedic hand specialist for 25 years10, and when I was shorter I got put to work doing filing on occasion. Hands are delicate, intricate instruments that can get seriously fucked up seriously fast. First and foremost, wear whatever gloves you are instructed to and no others (if you’ve got an allergy to the materials, talk to the local safety person for the appropriate substitute). If you bring your own, they may not be matched correctly to the tasks. On sizing, I prefer to wear mine a little tight because I get better grip and sensitivity. Floppy fingers makes for sloppy work.
On jewelry, we need to be frank. As a goblin and recovering jeweler, I respect the shiny. But machines can grab your jewelry and keep going with it, and your body will break before that cute ring or bracelet will. I don’t wear rings at work; my wedding ring stays on a necklace chain (more on that in a bit). I do wear an Apple Watch Ultra11 but I put it on a no-name magnetic band so that I’ve got a chance if some machine decides to snatch it. It only takes one degloving photo to sear this into your memory (do not image search that phrase).
Above The Collarbones
We’ve been talking a little more about safety and this section is no exception. Don’t tune out, there’s comfort here too.
Protect Ya Neck
I mentioned it briefly in the bit about hoodies, but the threat of machinery snagging things and dragging you only gets more serious as we move up the body.
Scarves, Bandanas, etc
Scarves are a no-no, and I used to wear a bandana and be worried about a loose corner getting caught in something. Nowadays for having a little bit of a sweat-wicking thing going on, I discovered Buff’s wicking half neck gaiters. The shorter length is less bulky and it stays close enough to my body to keep out of machinery.
A Note On Chains
I can’t tell you to leave all the chains at home because I’m a sinner, too. Like, anything that’s not fully biocompatible (316L stainless steel, titanium, or 10k+ solid gold) could get gross with all of the sweat and oils you’re going to accumulate, but even the stronger biocompatible metals like steel and titanium are worrying because they may not break before you do. If you’re going to wear a necklace or a chain, make it a softer metal like gold or silver. I have a gold chain that I keep tucked under my shirt that has my wedding band, a pendant from my mom, and other mementos strung on it. It’s the tradeoff I make as a human being to keep those emotional treasures close to me.
If you want to be paranoid, athletic taping your chain inside of your shirt is a great choice. I’ve done it in construction site scenarios where I was more likely to be clambering around some stuff or just snag my necklace on something that hadn’t been fully secured yet.
But the rest of it? Leave it at home where it won’t get gross or fucked up.
Face
I wear a KN95 in warehouses, airplanes, public transit, and convention halls because humans are filthy animals. It protects me from gross unvaccinated people spreading disease12 and from smelly people in enclosed spaces. Also, it protects my colleagues from whatever nastiness I may have picked up. They’re comfortable and easy to breathe in; my proof is in wearing these up and down 90’ staircase towers in 100ºF weather with a zillion percent humidity while carrying my gear during the construction of KCVG. A few years ago I worked a convention alongside Mikell, who chose to mask up; me and a couple thousand of attendees all caught the ‘rona, while she was clean and clear. I’m stubborn but not stupid and some lessons only need to be learned once.
Ears
Jewelry
Nothing dangly, basically, is your table stakes. Small “huggie” rings or studs are the order of the day. Unlike necklaces, metals choice won’t save you because a stud or ring will tear out of your ear long before the metal will destruct.
For you stretched piercing people though, I’ve got some great options! Single-flare jewelry with o-rings is great because the o-ring will come off long before it pulls through your ear. I like glass because it’s inexpensive, super smooth and bio-compatible, and non-conductive so your ears won’t freeze in winter. Alternately, silicone is also a great option for both larger gauges and small studs alike13.
Hearing
Putting aside the headphone wars appearing regularly on the Amazon warehouse subreddits, you want hearing protection and it doesn’t have to be those awful foamies that make you feel like you’re underwater, either. And no, you won’t just “man it out”. You want to be able to hear your kids in 20 years.
My historical go-to’s are Etymotic’s ER20XS ETY earplugs. They’re marvelous; tuned so that it knocks out the higher frequency machine noise that’s more likely to be prevalent, but you can still hear conversations. Magical.
I’ve been trying out Loop Engage 2 earplugs for warehouse work but I’m not sold. I’m a committed brand fan (I sleep in Loop Dreams and wear Loop Experience 2’s to shows) and find them slightly more comfortable than the Etymotic’s, but I’m finding speech harder to understand in them. YMMV.
Regardless, wear something that’s rated for 20+dB. And for fuck’s sake, your noise-cancelling earbuds are NOT earpro.
Eyes
Generally speaking, wear the eyepro you’re issued onsite, if any. I typically wear contacts so this works fine for me. I’ve got a pair of Stoggles in my prescription but found them awkward to travel with, so they usually stay home. If you are not obsessed with traveling light, you might like them.
Your regular prescription glasses are exactly as effective as safety squints. Don’t lie that your lenses are safety when they aren’t.
Hair Control
I’ve got long straight hair which is the natural enemy of rotary machinery. All this cute stuff about ponytails and messy buns does not satisfy me. I’ll either ponytail, braid, or piggytail my hair to get some initial control, then bind it all in a venerable octopus clip to make sure it stays put.
If I’m going under a hard hat, I’ll take that Buff that I sometimes have around my neck and wear it between my hair and the hard hat. It’s an extra layer of hair control and keeps the hard hat suspension from getting stuck in my hair.
Hats
Lots of baseball hats and visors, and they’re all fine.
Hard hats: I prefer to have my own because people are nasty and sharing wearables is a great way to get scabies. I’ve got a bog-standard one in hot pink because it doesn’t cross over with any trades colors (if you are not trained to pick up a tool, your options are pink or white), but when this one expires I’m thinking of getting one with a chin strap because what’s dorkier, wearing your helmet securely or having brain damage? Nothing looks as stupid as a self-inflicted disability.
Carrying Stuff
Finally, we’ve talked through all the stuff we’re going to wear. In both cases, you’ll want to ask ahead to the site as to their individual rules for either.
Everyday Carry
Be absolutely ruthless in deciding what you’ll bring onsite. You’ve gotta carry all of it, get it through security, and have it not disintegrate in a rough environment. Some sites allow no bags at all; some require flimsy clear plastic bags; some allow you to bring in whatever you like that’s not otherwise restricted but search your bags every time you exit.
I probably owe a post on my do-it-all bag loadout because it’s kind of ridiculous, but I’ll usually carry some subset of it to site itself.
Vest
If you need a safety vest, sites will happily issue you a plastic one out of their Grainger or Fastenal machine. This is fine for casual visits, but if you’ll be onsite regularly your team will likely have their own custom-printed. If you’ve got influence over what gets ordered, go for more pockets than fewer, and try for a breathable perforated fabric rather than the solid nylon cloth ones. As noted above, ask ahead as to anything the site expects out of their safety vests: some require a specific Class 2 safety vest, or reserve accent colors for specific roles in their building.
No safety vest can prevent some dumbass mouse from t-boning you when you’re just chilling on the Green Mile, Micro.
You can tell what team a person learned how to set up their vest from. Our Deployment Engineering teams will set up with E-stop keys on one shoulder loop, their ID badge on the other, and business cards in their front chest pocket. Ops sets up with gloves hooked to one shoulder loop with the other shoulder loop left open for a radio, and pockets full of hair ties, instruction cards, and whatever floor debris they picked up and haven’t found a trash can for yet.
I land somewhere in between. I’ll usually shove my phone, earplugs, AirPods for phone calls, a notebook, and a measuring tape or laser level into my pockets. Thanks to the magic of Slack and the power of remotely filing work tickets through mobile web, this can get me through a good portion of my site visits on its own.
Pack
Your bag depends strongly on what you need from it, but be aware that your fancy leather folio is not going to be comfortable here no matter how good it looks.
I am strongly partial to small custom bag makers; my beloved RELoad Bags has since retired, but a Cordura bag with a truck tarp liner and fuck you tough straps will see you through thick and thin. I don’t really put Timbuk2 or Chrome into this category as I’ve shredded both due to their cost optimization strategies on materials selection. This is a great opportunity to apply the Buy It For Life philosophy.
Light nylon daybags suitable for commuting have a good chance of getting shredded onsite. It’s not a bad strategy, just one you have to be aware of. If you travel with a roller bag it’s a far lower risk approach than if you’re a one-bagger like me.
In the second part of this series, we’re going to discuss the discipline portion: now that you have all of your cool gear and you’re dressed to impress, what do you actually do so that you don’t die out there?
- See A Meditation On Peak for what that means to us Amazonians. ↩︎
- The earliest usage I could find was in 2000, but I did not perform a fully exhaustive search. As seen in Sevier, T. L. 2000. “The Industrial Athlete.” Occupational and Environmental Medicine 57 (4): 285. ↩︎
- I’m from a multi-generational trades family. I’m familiar. Accusations of “softness” can eat shit directly next to your gender-affirming brodozer. ↩︎
- Technically, a Tier 1 Associate. I personally find this job title too euphemistic, though, so we’ll be calling our colleagues “ warehouse workers”. ↩︎
- I’m not letting this one go. See our Glossary for more. ↩︎
- I’m aware that I’m telling on myself to the feet people. I’m gonna need at least 50 like-and-subscribes to set up an OnlyFans for pictures of my busted unpedicured feet. ↩︎
- My partner suddenly got their psychrometric chart out and they don’t know why. ↩︎
- American powders all went to corn starch because of a lawsuit against Johnson & Johnson, but there’s no link that’s been scientifically demonstrated between talcum powder and ovarian cancer. Don’t huff it and don’t put it on your bits, basically. As discussed in Casey, Rachael, and Timothy P. Larkin. 2019. “Ovarian Cancer and ‘Tainted Talc’: What Treating Physicians Need to Know.” Missouri Medicine 116 (2): 83–86. ↩︎
- Seriously, what the FUCK is this “pheromone-maxxing” incel nonsense? Straight to jail. ↩︎
- What up, Teamsters Local 743! ↩︎
- JakeH: “The Apple Watch Series 8 is for people who don’t want to die. The Apple Watch Ultra is for people who are trying to die in the most spectacular ways possible.” ↩︎
- Antivaxxers can fuck all the way off into the sea. If the citations haven’t tipped you off, we do evidence-based reality here. I am uninterested in you until you choose to rejoin this society we are trying to have here. ↩︎
- I did warn you that I was a body jeweler in my wasted youth. ↩︎
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